hollucination

undiscribable painness going through all parts of my body now.. starting from heart.. mind, body and soul... it had been broken into pieces and now.. powdered.. it's hard to reassemble.. i don't understand... this is too much.. each and every words spoken from your mouth suppose to be a harmony to me,... but now...all i can hear is noise and craps.. i can't take it anymore.. i can't live in a world filled with full of drama and emotions, this is just too much for me... i'm from different world? oh yeah sure, same old techtics to dump a silly ass guy... i'm fucking sick of it.. i thought it will be a sweet memory.. but now , frankly i'm regret for what i've done.. i should not have taken SAM..nor i should not have done anything or exist... if you want to laugh at me go ahead, if you wana get rid of me, do it now, if you are scard of me, what can i do? tell me? what can i do? i am who i am, brought up in this world is not my fault, so don't mantion about it anymore... none of this is your fault, it is that.. i was so fucking cheap that you have mantioned.. that caused me do this things. sounds lika a paranoid.. and it is... alcohol can't cure this, but it's indulging me so badly... now.. i don't have any distractions... and in the same time.. lost my motivations and goals... fuck.. what was i doing?... if only i have know what is coming next, this will not have happened.. i'll just go my own way and i guess that will only make you feel happier and secured... i shall not think nor talk about it anymore.. it is only creating deeper cuts... just forget about it.. pretend that nothing had happened... just leave me alone...